


Pros and Cons

by spacenerdsugg



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Roommates, jaspar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:05:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6942868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacenerdsugg/pseuds/spacenerdsugg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on this prompt:</p>
<p>could you please write a little jaspar one shot with them being roommates at college or smth and one sleep walks and ends up in the other's bed (who has on crush on him) thanks <3</p>
<p>well. here you go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pros and Cons

**Author's Note:**

> pros and cons  
> plural noun  
> 1.  
> the various arguments in favour of and against a motion, course of action, etc. this idiom is taken from the Latin pro for “for” and con for “against.”

_"Caspar!”_

Joe kicks the piles of clothes on the floor in frustration. He stands in the middle of his and Caspar’s dorm room searching through the sea of clothes for his favourite pair of jeans. Bright morning sunlight filters in through the thin white curtains behind him, the room warm with rare summer heat.

Giving the clothes one last annoyed kick, Joe marches over to the bathroom and begins knocking on the door.

“Caspar!” he calls. “I can’t find my jeans because your stuff is literally _everywhere_ and I’m gonna be late for class and…”

He trails off. It’s pointless. Caspar is currently singing a very loud, very off-key rendition of ‘Sorry’ by Justin Bieber in the shower, and he’s just reached the chorus.

_“Is it too late now to say sorry?”_ he screeches.

Joe drops his hands to his sides and glares at the door, hoping that Caspar can feel his deathly gaze on the other side.

“Yes,” he huffs. “Yes it is.”

Joe has been sharing a dorm with Caspar for a year now, and he has decided that there are pros and cons to living with Caspar Lee.

Cons: Caspar is the messiest person Joe has ever met. He sings too loudly. He _breathes_ too loudly. He talks with his mouth full sometimes, and he always seems to be eating. He loses everything. He has a hundred friends and always invites them over without telling Joe first.

Pros: Caspar is the funniest person Joe has ever met. He laughs at all Joe’s jokes. He’s clever. He never causes any drama. He makes Joe tea. He asks if Joe’s okay whenever he hurts himself instead of laughing at him. He isn't judgemental in the slightest. He always listens intently to whatever Joe has to say. He is Joe’s best friend.

And, whenever he comes out the shower, he wears his towel loose on his hips, droplets of water still clinging to his golden skin, sliding down the curves of his arm muscles, glistening on his toned abs…like, right now for example.

Caspar is standing in the open doorway to the bathroom, still damp from his shower, towel dangerously low around his waist, hair spiked up from running his hands through it.

_Yeah_ , Joe thinks to himself. _This is definitely a pro. This is_ definitely _a positive aspect of living with Caspar Lee. This probably outweighs all the cons. Also, I’m very, very bisexual._

“What are you staring at?” Caspar asks, grinning. He flexes his muscles, striking a pose to make Joe laugh. And Joe does, though he can feel his cheeks heating up. It’s always embarrassing when Caspar catches him staring, though Caspar never seems to mind.

“I think you need to start going back to the gym, mate,” Joe jokes.

“I think you need to get your eyes checked,” Caspar replies. “Or are you just blinded by these guns?” He kisses his biceps and Joe snorts, snatching up one of Caspar’s t-shirts from the floor and flinging it at him.

“Whatever. Just look at this room, though, Caspar. You've left shit everywhere and now I can’t find my favourite pair of jeans because they’re buried beneath all this crap and I need to go to class and I’m probably going to be late and…”

Caspar doesn’t say anything, but just points behind Joe, at the desk pushed up against the wall between their beds. There’s a small pile of neatly folded clothes next to the little pot of Jasmine flowers Joe bought to lighten up the bleak room.

“What?” Joe sorts carefully through the clothes, finds his jeans neatly folded near the bottom, before throwing Caspar a puzzled look. “How long have these been here?”

“Since last night,” Caspar says. “When you went out with Will and Arden. I decided to clean up a bit.”

“You _cleaned up?_ ” Joe looks around the room, which still looks like it’s been struck by a particularly cruel hurricane.

“Yeah, you should’ve seen it _before_ ,” Caspar says. “But, also, I only really cleaned up your things, since I know that mess stresses you out and that you’ve been too busy to clean because of all those assignments and that major essay that’s due and all that.”

“Oh,” Joe says, suddenly feeling a warmth in his chest as he thinks of Caspar spending the night carefully folding up his clothes for him, as he thinks of how _well_ Caspar knows him. “Thanks, buddy.”

Caspar shrugs, looking a little shy. “That’s okay.”

The warmth in Joe’s chest spreads down to his fingertips, and he hides his smile by pressing his lips to his shoulder.

There are pros and cons to living with Caspar Lee.

Because, on one hand, Joe gets to see the boy he’s in love with every day. He gets to hear him singing in the shower in the morning and tell him ‘good night’ before he goes to sleep. He gets to see Caspar laugh and cry and pace around the room in stress and dance around the room in joy.

But, on the other hand, he has to see the boy he’s in love with every day, and he has to live with the fact that he will never love him back.

 

* * *

 

“Joe?”

Caspar whispers into the still, darkness of their room, breaking the silence they had fallen into. Both boys lay on their backs in their beds, staring up at the grey, shadowy ceiling.

“Yeah?” Joe asks sleepily. He’d been halfway through falling asleep whilst also thinking about that essay that’s due soon. He can hear Caspar shifting under the covers, rolling over onto his side.

“Do you believe in aliens?”

Joe rolls his eyes. “Go to sleep, idiot.”

“I mean…they’ve got be real, right? We can’t be the only living things in the entire universe,” Caspar continues as though Joe hadn’t spoken. “But I don’t know if I believe that they’ve visited Earth yet.”

“They have,” Joe tells him. “I live with one.”

Caspar giggles, and the sound is so light and happy that Joe smiles up at the ceiling until his cheeks hurt.

“Meanie,” Caspar mumbles, the smile still evident in his voice.

Joe rolls over and squashes his own grin into his pillow.

Neither of them speak for a moment, and by the way Caspar’s breathing slows, Joe thinks that he’s fallen asleep. But, as Joe closes his eyes, he hears him speak.

“Goodnight, Joe,” Caspar says.

Joe cracks open one eye, peering across the gap between their beds to look at Caspar curled up under his blankets through the dim light.

“Goodnight, little alien.”

 

* * *

 

It is not long before Joe is woken up once again.

It takes him a moment to realize what is happening, his mind heavy with sleep, disorientated and sluggish. Then, as he blinks open his eyes, feels skin brushing against his, he  
realizes that Caspar is trying to climb into bed with him.

“What the fuck…”

He barely has time to react before Caspar slings a heavy arm over Joe’s stomach, curling up into Joe’s side and resting his head on Joe’s shoulder.

He is incredibly warm, but Joe’s entire body freezes up.

_What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck…_

“Caspar,” he hisses, nudging him with his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

Caspar doesn’t respond, he’s completely still. Fast asleep.

“Caspar,” Joe hisses again, but he pauses when Caspar shifts slightly, tilting his face up so his breath tickles Joe’s neck whenever he exhales. Joe swallows thickly, heart fluttering, and tries not to think of how nice Caspar’s arm feels around him, how nicely Caspar slots into his side. “Caspar, get off me.”

Caspar just snores.

_Great._

Joe knows that he doesn’t really want Caspar to move. He knows that this is something he’s thought about, something he’s wanted, for a long time.

But he also realizes that Caspar was probably sleepwalking, and that he’s going to be confused, and weirded out, when he wakes up.

“I hate you,” Joe grumbles, though there’s no fire to it, glancing down at where Caspar is curled up against him, blonde tickling his collarbones. Carefully, he slips out of Caspar’s grip, pausing when Caspar mumbles something incoherent into the pillow, before shuffling off his mattress and padding over to Caspar’s bed.

He slips beneath the covers that smell like Caspar, and he squeezes his eyes shut, heart still pounding in his chest, and he wonders what it would be like if he had stayed in Caspar’s arms.

 

* * *

 

Caspar is sitting on the edge of Joe’s bed when Joe comes out of the bathroom after his shower the next morning. He looks rumpled, hair sticking up on one side of his head, pillow creases pressed into his cheeks, eyes bleary. Joe had gotten up early to avoid talking to him, worried that Caspar will remember what he did, but it looks like that plan has failed.

“Why did I sleep in your bed last night?” Caspar asks him with a frown. He’s staring over at his own bed, like he thinks that if he looks at it hard enough it will give him answers. “I swear I fell asleep in my own bed.”

“You did,” Joe replies. He goes back into the bathroom to tug on a pair of boxers, then walks back into the bedroom, drying his hair with his towel. Caspar glances at him, and something hot boils inside Joe when he notices Caspar’s gaze drop from his face to his naked chest, stomach.

“Well how did I end up here?” Caspar asks, looking away.

“You sleepwalked,” Joe says. “Tried to kick me out of my bed,” he adds, which is the opposite of the truth.

“Ah, shit,” Caspar says, scrubbing his hands over his face. He’s sleepwalked before, but mostly he just stumbles around the room and ends up trying to open the front door. And he hasn’t done so in a while. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

“It’s alright,” Joe reassures him, because he looks genuinely guilty. “But tonight, I get to kick _you_ out of your bed at two in the morning.”

Caspar just laughs.

They don’t see each other for the rest of the morning, but Joe remembers, almost too late, that he and Caspar had agreed to go out for lunch with Will and Arden. Which is fine. It’s fine. But, also, Joe hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Caspar cuddling him all morning (he kept zoning out, then zoning back in and muttering ‘fuck you, Caspar’ under his breath during his lectures) and he really doesn’t think that seeing Caspar right now will help him try to push all those thoughts out of his mind.

But he knows he can’t cancel on his friends, so he turns up to the little hipster café Will and Arden love a few minutes late and finds Caspar sitting by himself at their favourite table.

“Hey,” Joe says, sliding into the seat opposite him. Caspar looks up from where he’s scrolling through his phone, and smiles at him in the way that always makes Joe’s stomach drop to his toes.

“Will and Arden said they’ll be a little late,” Caspar says. “We should order our food now.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

Caspar nods and then they both turn their attention to the ‘quirky’ cardboard menus.

They’re completely silent.

_Oh no_ Joe thinks. _It’s awkward. It’s really fucking awkward._

When has it ever been awkward between them before? Even the time they’d first met hadn’t been awkward, they’d clicked right away. But now Joe sneaks glances at Caspar over his menu and he has absolutely no idea what to say to him. Mostly because he keeps staring at Caspar’s arms and thinking about how nice and warm they had felt around him…

_Shit. Stop. Forget that ever happened_ , Joe snaps at himself internally.

The main problem is, he’s letting last night trick him into thinking that… _maybe_ …Caspar has feelings for him too. But he doesn’t, obviously. Because he hadn’t consciously decided to cuddle up to Joe in bed. He’d been _sleepwalking_.

And he’s straight. Obviously.

“Hey,” Caspar says, breaking Joe from his thoughts. “I saw a puppy today.”

Joe snorts. “That’s news, is it?”

“You should’ve seen it, Joe,” Caspar tells him. “It was so cute. And it reminded me a little of you.”

“What? How?”

“Small. Soft. It tried to bite me then licked my hand.”

“When have I  _ever_ licked your hand?”

“No...I mean, like, it seemed feisty but it was actually pretty affectionate.”

“Oh,” Joe says, and then he laughs. “Right.”

“See? It was just like you. It was you but…puppy version. Joe Pupp. Joe _Pugg_.” Caspar grins at him, eyes crinkling at the edges, and Joe can feel any awkwardness left dissolve around him.

When Will and Arden finally show up, he and Caspar are laughing over something that only the two of them find funny. Later, Caspar shows them all funny videos on his phone, occasionally glancing at them all to make sure they’re laughing. Not because he wants them to think that he’s funny, but simply because Caspar loves making people laugh.

He makes it really fucking hard to not be in love with him.

 

* * *

 

Two nights later, Joe is woken by something heavy flopping onto his bed. He’s curled up on his side, and facing the wall, and he doesn’t have any time to even lift his bed before he feels an arm snake around his waist and a warm body press against his back.

Caspar breathes softly against his neck, and Joe’s heart skitters in his chest.

_Fuck. Not again._

“Caspar,” Joe whispers hoarsely. He wiggles his hips back, trying to nudge him, but then he realizes that he’s basically wiggling his butt into Caspar’s crotch and that that’s a _very_ bad idea.

_Shit._

Caspar tucks his face into Joe’s neck, and his lips softly brush against Joe’s skin, making him shiver.

_“Shit.”_

He needs to get out of this. He carefully grabs Caspar’s wrist and tries to pry away the arm wrapped around his waist. But Caspar just grips him tighter, pulling Joe back into him, so they’re completely slotted together.

“Caspar,” Joe says weakly. He _really_ needs to get out of this.

Caspar’s lips are pressed to the skin where Joe’s neck meet his shoulder and it’s fucking distracting and also driving Joe a little crazy, but he keeps trying to wriggle out of Caspar’s grip anyway.

Caspar hugs him tightly.

“Stay,” he mumbles.

Joe freezes.

_What. The. Fuck._

Is Caspar awake? Is he talking in his sleep? Does he have any idea of what he’s doing right now?

“O-okay,” Joe says, only because he wants to hear whether or not Caspar will reply. But Caspar doesn’t say anything, just hums contently and snuggles close to him.

Joe stares at the wall, suddenly wide awake.

There are pros and cons to living with Caspar Lee. And, in all honestly, he doesn’t know which category this would fall under.

 

* * *

 

Joe wakes up early the next morning, with Caspar still spooning him. Thankfully, his grip around Joe has loosened, and he’s still fast asleep, so Joe manages to slip away from him undetected.

He gets ready and leaves before Caspar can wake. He really doesn’t want to deal with Caspar. As much as he enjoyed being tucked up against him last night, it was also really fucking painful. Because he wants to be able to do that for real. He doesn’t want it to happen only when Caspar acting out in his sleep.

“You seem down, kiddo,” Arden tells him when he goes to see her and Will at the library later that morning. They all have laptops and textbooks out on the table in front of them, but none of them are doing anyway work.

Joe shrugs, picking at the M&M’s Arden had offered him. He pops a red one into his mouth and sucks on it.

“Just stressed, I guess.”

He really wishes he could tell them about Caspar, but he knows that it’d be weird. Like, _“Oh, hey, uh, Caspar has sleepwalking and getting into bed with me and I’m freaking out about it because_   _I_ _wish he was doing it for real and I kind of think that he might be doing it because he likes me even though that's impossible and also_ _I’m in love with him!!”_ just seems like it wouldn’t go down very well.

“You know what you need?” Will says, looking mischievous.

“What?” Joe asks.

“Alcohol,” Will and Arden reply together, because they’re always freakishly on the same wave length.

“That _is_ always a good solution,” Joe muses. Will laughs.

“There’s a party tonight,” Arden says. “I mean, it’s all our ‘art hoe’ friends, but there will be plenty of alcohol there. You should come. And bring Caspar, too.”

Joe has to stop himself from snorting, because ‘bringing Caspar’ is probably the last thing he wants to do. Being drunk around him would most likely end in a lot of things Joe would regret.

“I think he’s busy,” he lies. “But I’ll come.”

 

* * *

 

Caspar is at their dorm-room when Joe goes back there in the evening to get changed for the party, and Joe doesn’t know why he didn’t think that Caspar being at their _shared_ dorm would be a possibility. But he didn’t. And so he seizes up in surprise when he sees Caspar sitting on his bed with his laptop in his lap.

_Shit_. So much for avoiding him.

“Joe,” Caspar greets him happily.

“Hey,” Joe says awkwardly, looking everywhere but him. His gaze lands on his own bed, and suddenly he’s thinking about Caspar’s chest pressed against his back and Caspar’s lips brushing against his neck and _shit shit shit shit_ …

“You’re back late,” Caspar says. “Your last lecture finishes at three on Thursday’s, doesn’t it? What were you doing?”

It’s currently six thirty. Joe had spent a _lot_ of time in the library between and after his lectures, purposefully avoiding Caspar.

“What,” Joe snaps, “are you my mum or something?”

It comes out crueller than he intended, but he’s just so frustrated that Caspar even knows his _timetable_ well, he knows everything about him, and Joe keeps thinking that maybe it’s because Caspar feels the same way. Maybe Caspar likes him too.

But he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. He’s straight.

“No,” Caspar says, frowning. “But I do live with you. I’ve kind of learnt your timetable by now. And I know that you usually come back here straight after your lecture. I was waiting for you.”

Joe doesn’t say anything. There’s a pause. Joe stares down at his bed. Caspar stares at him.

“I wasn’t judging you, buddy. I was just wondering,” Caspar says finally, and Joe feels so stupid for feeling angry about this, but he can’t seem to feel anything else.

“Whatever,” he replies bitterly. “I don’t have to be here all the time, you know. I have a life outside of you.”

He finally sneaks a glance at Caspar, watches him frown. Confused. Hurt. Joe wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what, so he just locks himself in the bathroom and gets ready for the party.

He’s fucked. He’s going crazy. He just can’t help but feel hopeful about the fact that Caspar might like him, even though he knows he shouldn’t because he _doesn’t_. And it’s just so _frustrating._

“I might stay at Will and Arden’s tonight,” Joe tells him when he finally emerges from the bathroom, voice ice cold without meaning for it to be. “They have a comfortable couch, did you know? And it doesn’t stink like your bed does.” He wants Caspar to feel jealous, in some weird way. He wants to hurt him.

Caspar looks up from his laptop, meeting Joe’s gaze.

“This…this…is because of my sleepwalking is it?” he asks, slowly. He nods to himself like he thinks that’s definitely it. “Because I’m really sorry about that.”

He looks so genuinely apologetic that Joe quickly softens.

“You can’t help it, you’re sleepwalking,” Joe reassures him, but yes it is because of the sleepwalking, he just doesn’t want to tell him that.

Caspar sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face. He hesitates, gazing down his laptop.

“I’m not kicking you out of the bed, am I?” he says into his hands. “When I’m sleepwalking? I don’t kick you out of the bed.”

Joe’s throat goes dry. “You...you do…”

“I think I remember last night,” Caspar says softly. “I asked you to stay.”

He meets Joe’s gaze shyly. Joe’s whole body is frozen.

“You were half asleep,” Joe says numbly.

“I still said it. I still got into bed with you.”

“You were sleepwalking,” Joe says, and he’s firm. He doesn’t really know where Caspar is trying to go with this, but he wants to end this conversation before he gets his hopes up even further. “I’ve gotta go. See you tomorrow.”

Then he turns towards the door, and leaves the room.

 

* * *

 

The party sucks. But only because Joe spends most of it locked up in the upstairs bathroom, replaying his conversation with Caspar over and over again in his mind. He has no idea what to think about the fact that Caspar can remember being in bed with him. Because…surely…that means that Caspar hadn’t been sleep talking when he had asked Joe to stay. Surely, that means that he'd been awake, and that Caspar had genuinely _wanted_ him to stay, that Caspar had genuinely wanted to sleep with his arms wrapped around him all night.

He wonders if that’s what Caspar had been trying to tell him before he left, and he suddenly regrets leaving.

_Fuck_ , he thinks to himself, sinking down onto the bathroom floor miserably. _Fuck, I’m getting my hopes up. That’s probably not what he wanted to say at all._

But still…maybe…

God, this is definitely a con to living with Caspar. He screws with Joe’s head.

“Joe!” A very drunk Arden bangs on the bathroom door. “You in there, kiddo? You’re gonna miss the karaoke!”

Joe gets to his feet, pulls open the door. Arden sways a little on her feet, drink in one hand. She smiles brightly at him.

“You’re not throwing up in there, are you?”

“I think I might go home early,” Joe tells her. Though, it’s not really early. His watch tells him it’s nearing one am. “I’m not feeling that great.”

“I haven’t seen you have _one_ drink yet!” Arden says, and she thrusts the drink in her hand towards him. “We’re trying to help you forget your troubles, remember?”

“Yeah, I don’t think we’re gonna get very far on that one,” Joe tells her. Arden scoffs.

“Since when were you such a pessimist? I thought that was Will’s job. Wait, you’ve been spending too much with Will. That’s the problem isn’t it? _Tsk_ , that kid. Always such a downer…”

“Go sing some karaoke,” Joe interrupts her rambling, amused. “I’ll see you and Will later. Thanks for inviting me.”

He pats her on the head, gives her a smile. She sighs.

“Alright, fine, feel better, bud,” she says, pecking him on the cheek. “I’ll get Will to film me singing The Spice Girls. You’re gonna wanna see that.”

“I’m already looking forward to it.”

 

* * *

 

Caspar is fast asleep when Joe gets back.

Joe kicks off his shoes, strips down to his boxers before sliding into bed. He lays on his side, facing Caspar’s bed, and gazes across at him in the dim light. Some part of him wants to wake Caspar up, wants to apologize for leaving to abruptly, wants to hear what Caspar had been trying to say before. But it’s late and he can’t, so instead he rolls over so he’s facing the wall and he falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up only a few hours later when Caspar slings an arm over his waist, curls up behind him, spooning him. His movements are heavy, careless. He’s asleep. Joe can’t help but feel disappointed.

“Caspar,” he says tiredly.

Caspar sighs into Joe’s neck.

“Joe.”

_….Oh._

Carefully, Joe turns in Caspar’s arm, so he’s facing him. Caspar eyes are closed, though Joe has a feeling that he’s not fully asleep.

“Caspar,” Joe whispers, and Caspar eyelids flutter. When he opens them, he looks at Joe blearily, eyelids heavy.

“What are you doing here?” Joe asks. Caspar moves the arm that he has around Joe’s waist, slowly reaching his hand up until he touches the corner of Joe’s lips with his thumb.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Caspar mumbles. “I thought you were staying over at Will and Arden’s.”

“I changed my mind,” Joe says. He repeats, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry for annoying you,” Caspar replies. “But I guess I’m sleepwalking into your bed because I want to be here.”

“Oh,” Joe breathes, heart pounding in his chest. His skin burns where Caspar is touching him. “That’s kind of weird, innit?” He huffs out a laugh and Caspar laughs too.

“Yeah,” he says. He’s staring at Joe’s lips with heavily lidded eyes. “It’s weird.” He brushes his thumb along Joe’s bottom lip. Joe shudders.

"Is there something else you want to do too?" he asks, voice barely a whisper.

Caspar just moves his hand to cup Joe’s jaw, pulling him closer until their lips are touching.

Then he kisses him, softly, sleepily.

It feels so much better than Joe thought it would. Caspar cupping his face, hand trailing down to grip his waist, movements slow and gentle. Joe places his hand on Caspar’s neck, deepening the kiss, pulling him closer, closer…until there is no space left between them, wants to be touching him everywhere.

He sucks on Caspar’s bottom lip, before catching it between his teeth and tugging on it gently.

“Fuck,” Caspar breathes, and Joe’s stomach swoops. Caspar pushes down on Joe’s hip until Joe's on his back, then rolls on top of him, his kisses becoming fierce. Hungry.

He kisses the corner of the corner of Joe’s lips, leaves a trail of kisses down his jaw. When he sucks on Joe’s neck, Joe grips his bicep and mutters “ _fuck_ ,” and Caspar squeezes his waist, the word having the same effect on him as it did to Joe. It’s _hot_.

Caspar leaves a nice bruise on Joe's neck, before coming up to kiss Joe's lips again. Joe slides his hands into Caspar's hair, tugging at it when Caspar slips his tongue into Joe's mouth.

“Caspar,” Joe says.

“Mm?” Caspar hums against Joe's lips. He pulls back ever so slightly so he can meet Joe's gaze before he presses his thumb to Joe's bottom lip again. He tugs at it, baring Joe's teeth, before slipping his thumb into Joe's mouth.

"You're so fucking hot," Caspar says. Joe grins devilishly, biting down on Caspar's thumb.

"Hey!" Caspar yelps, pulling his hand away.

“Sorry, but as much as I like having you on top of me," Joe tells him, "you are crushing me a bit.”

“Oh,” Caspar says, immediately pushing himself up. He rolls off Joe onto his side, sitting up slightly. “Sorry.”

“Well, you didn’t have to get off me completely,” Joe snorts. He pulls himself up, pushing Caspar so he’s sitting up with his back against the headboard, before straddling him. “This is a bit better though.”

Caspar just nods, and he wraps his arms around Joe’s waist and Joe wraps his arms around Caspar’s neck and they smile softly at each other in the grey light.

“Your lips are all puffy,” Caspar giggles.

“So are yours,” Joe grins, and he presses a quick kiss to them, then to Caspar’s cheek, just because he’s cute.

“So…” Joe says, when he pulls back. “Have you been getting into my bed on purpose these last couple of nights?”

Caspar is still looking at Joe’s puffy lips.

“Well…the first time I was definitely sleepwalking. But the second time…I mean, I think I was half-asleep and wasn’t really thinking, but I remember wanting to get into bed with you. I know…it’s weird, but…I wanted to sleep with you. Not, like…sex…like…actually sleep.” Then he blinks, looking Joe in the eye, and grins. “Not that I don’t want to have sex with you…”

“Shut up,” Joe laughs. “What about this time? Was it the same as the second time? Were you only kind of aware of what you were doing?”

“Yeah, I guess” Caspar says. “But…when I kissed you I was fully aware of what I was doing, just saying.” He pauses. “Why were you angry at me, before, though? I thought that it was because you didn’t like me getting into to bed with you, and so I was gonna try and stop. I promise I was. But it’s harder than it looks, because I’m half asleep and not really thinking at all when it happens. But…I’m glad I didn’t stop, because, well, you know, this happened…”

“I mean, it’s not much fun sleeping with the guy you’re in lo—you have a _crush_ on when he doesn’t even know what he’s doing and could possibly wake up at any moment and be freaked out because you’re pretty sure he’s straight.”

“Oh,” Caspar says. “Fair enough.”

Joe nods. “Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Anyway, I think we’ve been talking for too long, we should get back to making out.”

A smile dances across Caspar’s lips, and he grabs one of Joe’s arms from around his neck and, holding Joe’s hand to his face, kisses Joe’s palm, closes Joe’s hand and kisses his  
knuckles.

“Good idea.”

Then he presses his lips to Joe's once more.

 

* * *

 

There are pros and cons to living with Caspar Lee.

Cons: Caspar kisses him every morning with morning breath. He buys coffee for himself and Joe and then leaves the takeaway cups everywhere. He tried to make Joe breakfast in bed once but instead just ended up spilling cereal all over the mattress. He claims he’s best boyfriend ever.

Pros: Caspar kisses him every night before bed. His body is always warm and great to cuddle into when Joe is cold. He buys Joe gifts that make him think of him. He picks Joe up and carefully tucks him into bed whenever Joe falls asleep whilst studying on the floor. He feels safe. He feels like home. He _is_ the best boyfriend ever.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://spacesugg.tumblr.com/)


End file.
